I mean, not really. In the world of companies talking to other companies lawyers are involved all the time. In some scenarios (real estate transactions, or M&A, for example) it would just be completely routine for two companies on exceedingly good terms to communicate back and forth via attorneys.
Your main premise seems to be that the recipient should take all this very personally. But it’s not personal, these are businesses, discussing a business related topic.
The VAST majority of business to business communications that involve attorneys don’t go anywhere near an actual filed lawsuit.
An intentionally initiated transaction where everyone already knows each other, and knows in advance that lawyers will be involved (as you say, m&a, real estate, etc) is a very different thing than receiving a demand letter from a previously unknown party out of the blue.
Like I said in my original reply here, we are talking about sending threats to third-party isps, with which the originator of the smtp traffic has no existing business or contractual relationship.
I made all kinds of good faith efforts personally to contact someone at AT&T through their forms and phone numbers, without ever even speaking to anyone who could resolve the problem if they wanted to. Lacking any other way to get through to them, legal seemed like the only recourse.
I would think that if you were the ISP owner blocking our mail to your customer, a single phone call from the customer or from us would convince you that our IPs were not a spam threat. That's certainly the way I prefer to deal with anything. But when dealing with something as monolithic and totally deaf as AT&T, lawyers were the only way.
I would think an attorney wouldn’t get involved until other avenues were exhausted. As alluded to in the comment. If it’s out of the blue, check your spam folder.
Your main premise seems to be that the recipient should take all this very personally. But it’s not personal, these are businesses, discussing a business related topic.
The VAST majority of business to business communications that involve attorneys don’t go anywhere near an actual filed lawsuit.