> People seem to have this idea of lavish Zynga style life styles. It's not. It's really really hard work.
Yes, I absolutely agree with you. But in this particular case, I didn't leave because it was hard. I left because it was easy. Too easy. I wasn't challenged. The work I was doing was mundane and repetitive, and I didn't feel like what I was working on was important (or fulfilling). My productivity was great. I excelled. I made an effort to contribute in every way I could. But at the end of the day, I was just another dev.
But at the end of the day, I was just another dev.
This. A thousand times.
At every company I've EVER worked for, I eventually had this exact same feeling. Even as the lead engineer, team lead, tech lead, or whatever other "top developer" role I've held, I always feel like this. And I always eventually quit too.
It's gotten worse in the past few years. I can barely make it one year before I feel like "just another dev", become completely de-motivated and start heading for the exits.
I've realized, at age 31, that I am a shitty employee and I always will be. I'm not supposed to work for other people. It doesn't really make me happy. It doesn't matter if its at a startup or a Big Co, I always feel like "just another dev", bored and ultimately like my potential is being cut short.
In the past year, this was sort of an epiphany for me. I have to follow the beat of my own drummer, be my own boss, make my own destiny. Will this bring me to self actualization? Will this be what I'm looking for? Or, will I feel empty once I get there? I have no clue, but I've got to find out.
Thanks for sharing your story, Loren. You're in good company. Good luck with figuring out what's important to you.
You're not a "shitty employee". Maybe you are just not in the right role. Most companies I've worked for consider developers to be just cogs that type code into computers all day. Many developers are just fine with this, but some of us want to do more. Like I said in another reply, the way I fixed this was to change careers and move over to the product management side. Unfortunately, I kind of had to leave development behind to do that, but in the balance, I've found the product side more rewarding.
It would be great to find a place where you could do both, but my understanding is these roles/companies are very rare. I suppose you could start your own company and then you'll definitely be doing it all, but that's kind of a risky way to get job satisfaction.
Slightly offtopic. I would love to hear more on how you made the switch happen. I sort of understand OP's perspective on the whole deal of people who work with code being considered to mere cogs and am also thinking about a switch.
This thread is pretty old, but I'll reply in case you're still reading. Here's the path I took, might not work for everyone:
1. Went back to school for an MBA (which I wouldn't recommend doing)
2. Found a typical "code monkey" job at a company where I was super-interested in the product and felt I had lots of good ideas. Work way up to some kind of tech lead position.
3. Network/established great relationships with the product team at said company. Provided constant input/ideas on the product, knowing most of it would be ignored (that's OK).
4. When I learned an opening on the product team appeared, jumped on in with full force. By then, the right people on the product team all knew/trusted me, and it was a pretty straightforward move. I was basically moving back down to a non-leadership level but I was willing to accept that.
Process took about 4-5 years, including the MBA. In retrospect, I wouldn't recommend the MBA unless you are trying to transition ENTIRELY out of tech/software.
I think it's also because there's no career path. Sure, the pay is good, but you feel like in 15 years you're still going to be in the exact same role. Whoever you're going to work for, they're going to want you as an engineer.
The only thing to look forward to are starting your own company or becoming a CTO, but let's face it, a very small percentage of people are going to ever actually do that. Some people look forward to that big pay day, but it turns out that's not too realistic for a ground-level engineer anyway.
I think in other types of role people look forward to the next step in their career, whatever that step might be. As an engineer, you just look forward to becoming an older engineer.
> I always feel like "just another dev", bored and ultimately like my potential is being cut short.
I always had that too. Especially about the potential; I knew I could do so much more than I was showing at all the companies I worked for, but I had no idea how to show it.
I quit and became a freelancer. Messed about with my own projects for a bit, did some small freelance work, and now I'm at a big freelance job at a company that's larger than any I'd worked for before. And from day one, I'm contributing beyond what I normally contribute. I'm taking on leadership roles that I normally wouldn't. I make more strategic decisions than every before.
I don't know if it's that this company has just the right culture for me, or maybe it's that ultimately I'm a freelancer and my own boss, and therefore I feel far more responsible for my work. I want to sell myself and keep selling myself through my work. Or maybe it's because starting my own company forced me to step way outside my own comfort zone; I have to negotiate contracts, hire an accountant, decide how to invest in myself; I need to think business, and that doesn't come naturally to me, but I do it. And maybe that's what gives me the confidence to take more charge, take more initiative, and keep moving forward in my every day work.
And I've got plans inside this large company (my client) beyond my current project. I see ways in which I can mean more to them, help them with more fundamental organizational problems; I see ways in which I can make myself more valuable (and thus more expensive) to them.
Whatever it is, I love it so far. And when I stop loving it, I'm free to do something entirely different. I'm my own boss.
That said, I don't think my unhappiness working for others has anything to do with other people making me feel that way or with my competence or the competence of others. Heck, I'm VP of Engineering right now at a company doing 10s of millions in revenue and growing like crazy and I still feel like something is missing.
My realization is that it needs to my skin in the game to not feel like I'm "just another dev" or perhaps more generally, "just another cog in the machine".
Working for someone else, I don't see how I could ever reach the level of personal risk, reward and gratification that it has taken me a long time to realize I need.
I can't escape it at someone else's startup or someone else's big company. I bounced from job to job, year after year, thinking it was just culture or not enough responsibilities, or too many responsibilities, not enough money, or too much money. These were all wrong.
I had similar motivations for leaving a startup a few years ago. Not because it was easy, the work was quite challenging, but I think more because of the lack of involvement with creative input for the products I was building.
I was "just another dev".
I think this is an important lesson for any company building software, you'll lose top talent if you just treat them as some kind of fungible code churning cog.
The main benefit for working at startup is supposed to be working on interesting things. The author no longer felt that he was working on interesting things. This is very different from thinking the work was too hard.
Yes, I absolutely agree with you. But in this particular case, I didn't leave because it was hard. I left because it was easy. Too easy. I wasn't challenged. The work I was doing was mundane and repetitive, and I didn't feel like what I was working on was important (or fulfilling). My productivity was great. I excelled. I made an effort to contribute in every way I could. But at the end of the day, I was just another dev.